What is sleep? Sleep is when your body relaxes to the point where all thought leaves you and you shut down to regain your strength. Sleep is not lying awake with your thoughts alternating between was has been and what could be. My thoughts inevitably, as they had done for so long, went back to my miserable past, but then galloped to the now, to the imagined future, what if Cassie and I could get together? What if we could build a relationship together? What if that relationship should move beyond the business, self supporting, self sustaining, into the personal? Could I cope with this? Was I prepared for this? Did I want this? I can remember at one time, it must have been just before my body cried out to my brain ‘enough already’ and shut down, I saw the red numerals on my alarm clock telling me that it was 2:30 in the morning. My next waking thought was the alarm going off at 6:30. Time to drag my body out of bed and shower before breakfast, before Cassie. ‘You couldn’t sleep. Their bodies remembering the familiarity of each other as they stood there in the middle of his room locked in a passionate embrace. Through her sobs she began to offer apologies for hurting him so much but he silenced her with a gentle kiss on her forehead and another on her soft and trembling lips. If ever there was to be paradise on earth, it would be in her lips. Breaking the kiss, he looked into her eyes. ‘I Love You’. As they locked lips again, old feelings began to resurface. Their kisses turned from tender to passionate and he caressed her tongue with his as she did the same. Not leaving the embrace of each other, they made their way to his bed. Pausing to stroke the hair away from her face and the tears from her cheek, he lowered his arms to the bottom of her blouse. She smiled, raising her hands into the air as he slowly lifted the garment over her body and past her arms. Dropping it onto the floor, he began kissing her again, this time on her neck which he knew she loved.
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